SEXUAL RELATIONS BETWEEN SPOUSES -
ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE.
Islam is a perfect religion. It covers all aspects of
human life, including spouses’ sexual relations.
The husband and the wife choose their sexual activities
according to the teaching of Quran and hadith and in mutual respect for
one another. In this context, following points are important.
1. Sexual relations are for the pleasure of both the
husband and the wife and for the procreation of children.
2. Nothing should be done that is offensive or
harmful or unacceptable to your spouse. Each has a duty to be sexually
available to the other, but neither has the right to disgust or injure the
other, physically or psychologically.
3. Sexual pleasure is not limited to vaginal
penetration, as it includes other forms of caressing, love making, such as
kissing and fondling of various kinds.
4. With a few exceptions, the couple can engage in
any activities that they like, in any manner and in any position. Allah (swt)
rewards permissible activities as surely as he punishes sinful activities.
It is in Quran - "Women are your fields. Go then into your fields as
you please." ( Al-Baqara - 223).
5. It is often reported by sexual counselors in
Muslim countries that some modern men and women impose on their spouse on the
night of marriage like animals and expect that the spouse will carryout certain
prohibited things they have seen on commercial sex websites. This kind of
behavior often ruins the life of both the partners.
6. It is forbidden in Islam to have vaginal
intercourse while a woman is menstruating (Al Baqara - 222).
During menstruation, women often have mood swings. The
husbands should give due consideration to this natural phenomenon. However, a
man and his menstruating wife can give one another pleasure so long as the
woman's genitals are avoided. On such occasions, women should not remove
their lower garment (pajama).
It is in Hadith - Narrated Ummul Momineen A'isha (رضئ اللہ تعالی
عنہا): "The
Prophet (صلى الله عليه و
آله وسلم) used to recite the Quran
with his head in my lap while I used to be in my periods (having menses).
(Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 93, Number 639)"
It is in Hadith - Ummul Momineen Maimuna (رضئ اللہ تعالی
عنہا) reported:
"The Messenger of Allah (صلى
الله عليه و آله
وسلم) contacted and
embraced his wives over the waist-wrapper when they were menstruating. (Muslim,Book
003, # 0579).
It is in Hadith - Ummul Momineen A'isha (رضئ اللہ تعالی
عنہا) reported: "When
anyone amongst us (amongst the wives of the Prophet -صلى الله
عليه و آله وسلم
) menstruated, the Messenger of Allah (صلى
الله عليه و آله
وسلم) asked her to tie a
waist-wrapper over her (body) and then embraced her. (Muslim, Book
003, # 0577).
7. Anal intercourse (sodomy) is forbidden in Islam – Period.
It is the worst kind of sexual practice, not done by even wild
animals.
It is in Hadith - "Allah (سبحانہ و تعا
لی) does not look at one
who comes to his wife in her anus". (Nasa'i: Hasan Isnaad; Tirmidhi and
Ibn Hibbaan).
It is in Hadith - "Cursed are those who
come to their wives in their anuses." (Abu Dawood, Ahmad and others
with hasan isnaad).
8. The Quran and the Sunnah are generally silent as
to the various positions during fondling/love making. Most Ulema consider
that it is up to the husband and wife, in love and mutual respect, to decide
how to physically and emotionally express their sexual desires.
9. What goes on in bedroom, is a private matter
between spouses and should not be discussed or revealed to other persons unless
there is some necessity, such as health or safety.
It is in Hadith - Abu Hurairah (رضئ اللہ تعالی
عنہ) narrates that the
Prophet (صلى الله عليه و
آله وسلم) said this about people
who reveal and discuss openly their sexual practices: "Do you know what
those who do this are like? Those who do this are like a male and female devil
who meet each other on the road and satisfy their desire while the people look
on."
It is in Hadith - The Prophet (صلى الله عليه
و آله وسلم)
said "The most evil of the people to Allah (سبحانہ
و تعا لی)
on the Day of Resurrection will be the man who consorts with his wife and then
publicizes her secret. (Muslim).
10. If the husband is absent from his wife because he
is traveling for a legitimate purpose or other legitimate excuse, in this case
the husband should try not to be absent from his wife for too long. The husband
is obliged to treat his wife in a kind manner, which includes sex. The
majority of scholars set the time limit beyond which it is not permissible for
the husband to forgo intercourse at four months. However, Ulema agree
that there is no time limit; the husband should have intercourse with his wife
according to her emotional and physical requirements.
It is in Hadith - Imam Bukhari reported from
‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas, who said: “The Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه
و آله وسلم)
said: ‘O ‘Abd-Allah, have I not heard that you fast all day and stand all
night in prayer?’ I said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه
و آله وسلم)
.’ He said: ‘Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, stand in prayer and
sleep. For your body has rights over you, your eyes have rights over you, and
your wife has rights over you.’ (Bukhari)
In the commentary on this Hadith, it says: “The husband
should not exhaust himself in worship to the extent that he becomes too weak to
fulfill her rights by having intercourse with her and by earning a living.”
(Fath al-Bari).
11. Touching and caressing the genetelia of partners
by hands is allowed. In this case, hands and private parts should
be pre-cleaned thoroughly to avoid infections.
12. On the question oral sex (genital contact by
mouth), some Ulema consider it forbidden as sexual fluids are najis, while some
Ulema consider it ‘tolerated’.
In this context, following facts are important.
(a) Partners who regularly perform oral sex on each
other, have found to suffer from Oral (mouth) Cancer.
(b) It is confirmed that diseases like Chlamydia, Human
Papillama-virus (HPV), Gonorrhea, Herpes, Hepatitis (Multiple strains), and
other Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including HIV can be cause of oral
sex.
(c) In 2005, a research study at the College of Malmo
in Sweden suggested that performing unprotected oral sex on a person infected
with HPV increases the risk of Oral Cancer. The study found that 36
percent of the Cancer Patients had HPV compared to only 1 percent of the
healthy control group
(d) Another recent study suggests a correlation between
oral sex and Head and Neck Cancer. It is believed that this is due to the
transmission of human papillama-virus (HPV) a virus that has been
implicated in the majority of cervical cancers and which has been detected in
throat cancer tissue in numerous studies.
(e) If the (Oral Sex) receiving partner has wounds or
open sores on his/her genitals, or if the (Oral Sex) giving partner has wounds
or open sores in his/her mouth, or bleeding gums, this poses an increased
risk of STD transmission.
(f) Brushing the teeth, flossing, undergoing dental
work, or eating crunchy foods such as chips/Burgers/French Fries /coke
relatively soon before or after giving oral sex can also increase the
risk of transmission, because all of these activities can cause small scratches
in the lining of the mouth. These wounds, even when they are microscopic,
increase the chances of contracting STDs that can be transmitted
orally under these conditions. Such contact can also lead to more mundane
infections from common bacteria and viruses found in, around, and secreted from
the genital
regions.
In view of the above facts and the great health hazard to
human life, the Ulema may agree that oral sex of all kinds is prohibited in
Islam.
Wakkhu’alam.
Source : CIF.
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