LOVE TO PARADISE : Chapter :17. Family maintenance is according to the ability of the husband and family needs.

17. Family maintenance is according to the ability of the husband and family needs.  

According to Islam, a wife has the right to subsistence and adequate maintenance from her husband. Obvious by the word of God says, "Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property ; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleepingplaces and beat them; the if they obey you, do not seek a way against them, surely Allah is High, Great" (An-Nisaa '4:34).

 

A friend named Hakim bin Mua'wiyah bin al-Maidah Qusyairi ra ever heard him say that he once asked the Prophet, "O

Messenger of Allah! What are the rights of the husband and wife we? "The Messenger of Allah said which means:" Feed him when you eat and when you give him clothes to dress . "  (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan Abu Dawood, no. 1830).

According to this history, Islamic law depute to the husband to bear the expense of food and clothes for  wife and children, and this includes suitable accommodation, transportation, and medical treatment when sick. For example, a husband is able to provide hearty meals for his wife and children, such as rice and fish are suitable, it is calculated has provided enough sustenance even days of eating fish and vegetables and only once a month to eat meat or chicken. 

Money should be provided at certain amount give to the wife in an appropriate and reasonable rates for savings and also to cope with emergency cases. A husband who does not provide a stipend appropriate and reasonable is calculated to have committed financial terrorism to the wife, if the wife is a housewife who did not have any income other than money given by the husband.

A wife who work are also entitled to alimony to complete dressing including socks, underwear, scarves and so on minimum 2 pair  within a year. All this needs to rely on a reasonable basis in accordance with legislation. Mean, if husband provide clothing that is not good, too rare to uncover nakedness, or set up a home but have no electricity or water, or food prepared but not nutritious and affordable husband, the husband like this is categorized as a stingy husband.

Islamic law also stipulates the maintenance rate is based on the ability of a husband and the husband is not fair to burden himself beyond their capabilities. If the husband refuses to give maintenance of basic living need., then wife are entitled to take the money without his husband knowledge according to the needs of families expenses. This is justified by Islamic law.

This argumentation of the following:

Prophet Muhammad was asked by the wife of Abu Sufyan, Utbah bin Rabi'a who came to complain to the Prophet,  "O Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan is a miserly husband. Can I take part of their property to the needs of our families?

"The Prophet said, which means," It's okay for you to just your need with kindness. "   (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

If faced with a stingy husband, the wife may take secretly appropriate  sum of money to cover expenses for the fit and proper requirements for herself and children, servants, if any, without incurring any sin, even the wife actually has eased the burden of God's punishment of her husband in one lane in hereafter. Scholars have argued, with kindness in taking the property  means of moderation and not to damage the property of the husband. If it is discovered by her husband and fighting, forcing a husband and wife can ask for separation (divorce) by the Shariah Court order.

What I am practicing regarding the monthly expenses for my spouse and children, every month I provided sum amount for family maintenance, pocket money for my wife and also sum amount to assist my parent. Every month I would give to  my wife 10 % of my basic salary and 10% to my patent.

I still remember the first month of my first salary in 1980.

"Honey, take this," I gift the envelop to my wife upon receiving my first pay salary..

"What is inside Bang" my wife asked with surprise. 

"This money is for your expenses"

The wife opened the envelope and saw the money RM100 she bit sighted. 

"Thank you Bang, too much for me" 

"Not that much honey". I just to convinces her.

"How much your monthly pay Bang." Wife asked for more info. 

"A thousand, a reduction of the honey RM100 and RM100 for Wan and Che" I told my wife about my wish.

Since that date every month I'd promised to bleak for father and mother, I call Wan and Che, and my wife. So I have put my commitment to ensure maintenance to  my  wife and family starting the year 1980.

In line with the passage of time and expending of my family by providence of God to us. In 1997 my monthly income has increase to 4 digit a month.  I still set a value of 10%  for my wife and 10% for mom and dad. By put a side of every month salary I manage to fulfill my duty and responsibility to my wife, family and parent without fail. 

Every month I will give the mandate to my  wife to  kept save  all the family maintenance  money of our family. If necessary I will back sum of money from time to time if need to spent. My rationale for conducting this method because it can expose and educate my wife an  important responsibility in keeping the family finances (finance minister's to the family).

This trust is deliberately gave my wife as an inducement to her. To motivate the feeling of responsibility to the family and also to be able  experiencing how the responsibility of maintaining the financial welfare of the family as a tuff job.  Such situations bring awareness to the need for thrifty wife in the shop and have to spend within their means husband.

This method  has also been able to convince my wife that I am a husband is the one who is so confident and love to her. Whose spending so much money each month to wife and her has to take care for safety and spending wisely.. After all I have done in such a way as to appear in the first month I gave a mandate to the wife, she was well enough to trust in the saving account of family expenses.

Besides, I did a tactical  way is to establish a friendly relationship between my wife and my  mother and my father.  In each month the money will be given to cover the expenses of both my parents. I trust my wife to deliver the money each month. This way  there will be love between wife and both my mother and father. Because in the eyes of my parents it will form a positive impression of the law is a very merciful and take care of their parents. This tactic makes kekeluagraan relationship between my wife and my parents  are always  in very good condition to this day.

Occasionally when a little more money, I will inform my wife will give some money to his parents, and myself will be pleased to lend money to my in-laws. This action was done by me is to give confidence to the son-in-law that this is a good-hearted and generous when the financial surplus will be given to both of them. This practice has created a bond of friendship, family on both sides of husband and wife can be maintained in peace and always friendly and cheerful every time.

Tips:

1.       The granting alimony to the wife is the husband's responsibility as laid down by Islam. The husband must provide for physical and spiritual well and according to ability husband. The husband should be responsible for ensuring that financial income every month it can at least meet the basic needs like settle all family needs.

2.       Giving the responsibility of the wife to save and manage money spending each month is a good practice. This will produce a correlation  between husband and wife. Understanding the care of the household will bring happiness and his wife and family.   

3.       Giving money to parents of husband and wife need to get mutual understanding. For boys it is the responsibility to help parents if they can not afford. Wives must understand this responsibility is the ordinance of God. For a woman who has a husband awareness about their responsibility to  parents, presenting my actions to help my parent and father in law is  a smart move to create an intimate relationship between the law and my family.