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Thursday 19 November 2015

Try to form positive jealousies.




Jealousy   is indeed human nature. In the case of relations between the two lovebirds being tossed lovelorn romance jealousy often occur. Thus, if jealousy is gone, the love of a person to a dispute. Indeed jealousy in Islam is more precious and valuable compare to  jealousy driven home by the many couple of  young people.

Sheikh Ibrahim bin Muhammad al-Haqil wrote in his book Al-ghirah Baina as-Syar'i wa al-waqi ' . Emphasizing the fact that according to Islam jealousy   at all clean   and far from mundane lust. . Jealousy in Arabic uses the word "ghirah" meaning is that when someone saw something teachings of Islam belittled and ignored, his heart infusion and revolted to prevent sin concerned. . A true believer will feel jealous and uncomfortable when he saw the prohibitions of Allah are violated. "This is the essence of jealousy," wrote Sheikh Ibrahim. . Lack of feeling jealous of a believer shows his faith so weak. Because, as stressed by the hadith of Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Hurairah, Allah will "jealous", so should a believer. "Jealousy" God is when His prohibitions are ignored. .

The faithful messenger of Allah is the most powerful features of jealousy within the meaning syar'i. This is confirmed in the hadith narrated by Muslim from Abu Hurairah. Prophet Muhammad insisted he is human "jealous" within the meaning syar'i. . "And God is 'jealous' again," the word of the Apostle. And, the friends is the next generation of "inheriting" a sense of the strong. . Jealousy, it is very important in Islam. Jealousy within the meaning syar'i that the good and evil deter and prevent havoc  in the society.                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                   
The Prophet Muhammad said , which means:
"Three people will be forbidden from heaven; 1. People who are addicted to alcohol; 2. The person who betrays the two parents; 3. Men are a coward, that the silence or approve the act of adultery among family members. (Narrated by Ahmad from Ibn 'Umar. Hadis valid. Al-Jami' as-Saghier, no. 3503).

Attitude and jealousy are common to humans and nature. We were not alone, even the people in  the House, the family home of the prophet also experience it. God recorded this story takes place in expert bait so that   the wives of ordinary people can learn from it. Namely, the prophet and his family are not angels, they are humans like us. This story is in the Quran in Surah at-Tahrim (Prohibition) verses 1-5. In the story, a few wives of the prophet (Hafsah` and 'Aisha) felt jealous of Zainab who was serving honey (favorite prophet) to him. So Hafsa and she conspired so that both said mouth of the prophet at the time and the place smelled different. Prophets like we always understand, always keep your mouth clean by carrying wooden toothpick travel anywhere he goes and he banned his honey to yourself just to please his wives. Then God told Aisha and Hafsah talk about this to him.

O Prophet! Why do you forbid (yourself) that which Allah has made lawful for you; you seek to please you wives; and Allah is forgiving merciful.
Allah indeed has sanctioned for you the expiation of you oaths and Allah is your protector, and He is the knowing the Wise.
And when the prophet secretly communicated a piece of information to one of hi wives – but when she informed (others) of it, and Allah made him to know it, he made he know part of it, she said: Who informed you of this? He said: The Knowing, the one of Aware, informed me.
If you both turn to Allah, the indeed you hearts are already inclined (to this); and if you back up each other against him, then surely Allah it is Who is his Guardian, and Jibreel and – the believers that do good, and the angels after that are the aiders.
Maybe, his Lord, if he divorce you, will give him in you place wives better than you, submissive, faithful, obedient, faster, widow and virgins”

This chapter is very, very meaningful to   women or wives. The wives of the prophet called  أمت المؤمنين (mother of the believers) ditaqdirkan by God did this so that mistakes are exposed and their story immortalized in the Quran to be learned by our people who believe. Important things that women need to learn as a way to husband, not troublesome husband, do not really follow the dictates of his wife, a description of the secrecy of the household and the awareness that God is constantly watching households and properties of a good wife, as the next verse;

And when should we read in verse 6 of the same chapter faltered and wept and repented, I hope we do not become fuel for the fire.

O you who believe! Save yourselves and your family from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded.”

Obviously, I had great jealousy, but jealousy is controlled, open it anyway jealous., Jealous of the situation to occur relatively my wife once, because my wife is a full-time housewife, everyday more time to stay at home to take care of routine daily  at home with family. Now classified as a disabled wife who needs help every time. The possibility of cheating is quite difficult.

On the other hand, my own vigilant to avoid feeling jealous by my wife..   The nature of my work place in the office which dealing with the public, and majority the office mate are woman, I had to be very careful in chat  and communicate with them in the office.  Once in a while  when we need to work overtime to complete the important and urgent task. I will make sure there is no room for slander,  because be pair between  male and female outside office hours  can apply khlawat suspicious.  I will proactively take preventive matter by  make sure to 3 people will working overtime outside normal office hours. 

I take preventive matter to avoid jealousy by always be ware of possibly suspect of slander between me and other women, by avoid my self sit together with other women as a couple. Otherwise the numbers of person to be more then 3 person at one time. My preconscious action able to avoid my self with slander and gossip with the time more than 30 year work with government and private sector. Till I was  retired. My name is clean without and bad thing and dirty trick. Alhamdulillahl.

My tip makes me jealous for a  positive is a mean of putting ourselves in the situation of people who were jealous when we put ourselves in other people's feelings we can feel how difficult a person who suffered the jealousy of his beloved spouse. Once we are able to explore their feelings, then we try to find a way to avoid jealousy that arise. By adopting a method of putting ourselves in the shoes of others, we can find an alternative to prevent recurrence of such incidents. "Prevention is better than cure".

I've always been very careful in this issue jealous because my wife had expressed her feelings of jealousy in the atmosphere prevailing in the hospital in 1986 before;

“ darling, who with you at the ward entrance just now?” asked my wife whose lay  on the hospital bad,

“ Ohh, that my school mate, we did not meet since 15 years?”

“ It true ? Look like special girlfriend, the way you char with her?’

“Don’t be jealous honey. Just old friend ,,, we just talked about our friend at the school last time”. I try to convinced my wife’

"The old girl friend is that, because that seems to be very friendly"

‘'Ish which is not usually je "

“ Dare you do that in front of me” wife look sad and turn her face away, Seen a drop of tear at her eyes flow down.

"Long time no see if indeed, the chat was fun" I try to convince my wife,

From that incident,  I'm always cautious in daily interactions with ladies  to avoid feeling of jealous by my wife. Because I also have the same feelings of jealousy when I saw my wife chatting with other men.
               
In conclusion, to avoid the excessive jealousy between husbands and wives, the most effective action is their role to avoid behaviors that allow jealousy arises. As the Malay saying goes, "Prevention is better than cure".   In Islam, there is also teaching his followers to "Do not approach adultery"

In the case of the jealous husband is a very important role, as head of the ruling family and he had a wife. For avoidance of jealousy that could bring the collapse of the household is located on the husband's attitude has openness on issues of jealousy. More potent if the husband takes proactive steps to alert the actions are questionable each day to ensure it is running according to the teachings of  Islamic Sharia and Sunnah, and the most important is ensuring her social action outside the household should try to avoid situations that can lead to feelings of jealousy by his wife and children and family or relatives.


TIPS

1.      The nature of jealousy is the nature that God created for all humans, regardless of gender, men or women.

2.      Jealous positive is good to avoid becoming a coward husband. The husband should have feeling of jealous to his wife if she is going out with other men, the action to avoid any slander happen.

3.      If excessively jealous as jealous rage can lead to marital relationships will be destroyed in an instant, because ordinarily people would act blindly jealous unexpected, especially when there are jealous because his wife suspected has an affair with men .

4.      In order to avoid jealousy or envy negative enjoy, anything to avoid actions that can trigger feelings of jealousy husbands and wives should be avoided from happening in the daily lives.  Because the action carefully and always be alert by husband and wife will prevent excessive jealousy can occur which will destroy crown home built over the years.

5.      Jealous positively promoted by Islam is jealous of people who can perform their religious duties very well, or someone who is always looking to add to his knowledge whether science world and especially eschatology. We recommend that jealousy with the desire to do the same thing better. This type of jealous is allow to happen by  Islam .


Wallahu'alam.

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