Chapter : Obey the Commandments.

3.      Obey the Commandments.

As  a Muslim  has the intention to review absolutely and make sure  our life as a husband always obey the Commandments. Husband must be a leader that  always lead his family to follow the faith of God. If we do not obey the Commandments, that  means our promise (sahadah) which was confer  by us  is unacceptable by God Allah.  Because it shown that we are not yet be a honest  believers. The promise must  be followed by action to review obey all the Commandments. In everyday life we need to obey the Commandments linked to the field;

circumcision; Should not do any  illegal or disobey activities. I often use the term to 5 Principles of Life. However by reality in our daily life it is very difficult for us  to review  that we always adhere to the Commandments. Except for those  who are high degree of faith and piety.

I still remember the words of religious teacher some time ago.  "Male person when been official married has become   a husband  that actually receive a lot of responsibility, His are responsible to ensure that his wife and Kids Understanding fully the Islamic teach and faith, and must always be able to obey the faith and teach at all times without fail. If not so husband is  responsible and answerable to the Lord Allah at hereafter and he will be sent to hell if the family which is under his responsibility fail to follow the commandments.

" Is it possible for me to be a responsible husband to keep all my family in line with Islamic teach ?" This is a question that often exist in my mind as at first married ever since.

" Han, when your are  married, your wife and your kids must confirm adhere to religious teachings," my  father told to me while we talk about the wedding day one time ago.

"In sha Allah". I am response with fully committed.

My late father advice still stick to my hearts and soul. I swear to myself to ensure the burden of leading my family to follow the Islamic faith and teach is always be my priority objectives. especially about prayer. That is not compromise to absent, everybody in the family must performed 5 times per day. Only with syariah excuse can left the solat.

I myself must lead by examples, I will ensure the 5 times prayer must be done on time schedule by Islam. The leader by example must shown his commitment first and after that he able to command  others under his controls.

“ Subhanallah, I am as leader has to ensure myself to perform 5 times daily prayer with out fail. That is a must to be a good and responsible husband” I always talk to myself. This is the most important task as the husband and father. I being given a responsibility by syariah law that the husband must able to educate and coaching his family to be a good muslim and good citizen.

To the extend I must lead and coaching my wife and kids to ensure all of us have to obey all the religious teach and faith in everyday life activities. I must check and monitor everyday to ensure the forbidden and disobedience will not happen regarding our daily responsibility to Allah such as prayer 5 times, fasting one month for Ramadan, paying zakat fitrah (personal zakat, paying income zakat, and finally  performed Hajj at Mecca  once in our life.

While all the bad attitude that been classified as HARAM ( the way to hell) must be totally left over. If it happen with out control as we did the forbidden activities , we must immediately pray to Lord Allah asked for His forgiveness, taubah Nashua, by pray and back to Allah for forgiveness and make an intension not to do again the same mistake in the near future.

while the circumcision is practiced should be as far as possible as giving alms, helping others whose are distress, doing charity work for poor people and  orphan.

A situation that given a free choice to us to do or not to do, I always advice my wife and kids try to accommodate the teach and take a decision to follow what been experienced by our grand Ma and Pa which is given benefit to us. I will ensure we be accept  to that give good impact to our life and give harmony relationship to other people.

Things that Should be given to a crash whether to perform or otherwise such as to eat fish and vegetable based dishes  or to eat red meat or white flash. It is free for us to take  any decision what ever we like.

Things  that advisedly not to do (makroh) priority for us to leave or not to eat such as not advise to eat garlic when we are going to mosque to perform prayer ( solat) . It’s also apply to smoker cigar that been put lawly as makroh.  Luckily I am not the smoker. That is one of my special principle which is proud by my wife as we start to know each other 36 years ago. Lately doctor confirm that cigarette is bad to human health and it will lead to cause cancer to the smoker. I put my personal aim not to smoke till the end of my life. InsyaAllah.

In keeping intention to review compliance commandments hearts everyday life, we need to sufficient knowledge of the law and order  of religion.  To ensure this been compliance we must update the knowledge and continuous learning must be done. If we have the attitude not to study any more, that is the wrong attitude, because in the real world, the development and improvement of our technology, knowledge and skill it upgrading from time to time. We must be able to avoid the stigma of stop learning to the senior citizen people, it is a great mistake, because  the fact human life in the universe are very dynamic to change forever. So it  is worth for us  study everyday to comply to the change need by the environment of change and it increased with time.

Try to look around us everyday, internet tools Development and Communication Technology leaps and bounds. Children and grandchildren in the future  is extremely expose to internet technology.  So it is the time for every husband to be expose with the latest development of communications technology. Thus very important to be able our self to ease the way of communication with the younger generation where as their  culture has been influenced to the life virtual borders less world,

I still remember, my 4 years old  grandson alert me at one time,

"Tok Dad, wait a minute. The computer is still loading". Grandson said when he saw me try to punch key board.

“ Oops , how stupid of me, the 4 years old grandson is more advance than his grand pa” that the words come to my mind when been alert by grand son, for some time when I visited my eldest daughter at Putrajaya.    

 "I'm ashamed, grandson has better computer skill than me? " This is the reality of life, science that incident I try my self to update the knowledge of every things that I think useful for our daily life.

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By doing that, I am more confident to face the latest development of the world. This what been talked by our be love Rasulullah SAW “ To day is better than yesterday, and tomorrow must be better than today” this principle must be applied to everything we did in our daily life. That is.

To ensure that I can be a husband and father, I must always to   emulated Posted Wife And Children, I am forced to increase religious knowledge every time. More, More, More I is not coming back to school up bringing  religion.  On the Primary school only enrolled in public schools (1960-1966) and entered the stream English High School for five years.

A shock like that, I was lucky my father was graduate school of Islamic based study  and he served as a religious teacher  and also as Register of Marriage in the District. My father teach in several mosques and madras. The life of such an enabling environment I was  grown up with  religious discipline, especially in relation to the practices that are in demand Fardu (compulsory)  Posted Islam.

"How many Pleasure of  God blessed to use every moment, Lives Mercy, Mercy of Air, abundant water, health grace, mercy appetite and much more, countless"  father said to the congregation in the mosque hears by audience at one night.

" we as a husband who lives in His grace should thankful " continued the verse with great enthusiasm, the audience  just nodding to sign a deal.

'God did not ask to pay of His grace at all, the only thing we should do just pry and follow of His Ordinance and exalt Him. Do all His commands and prohibitions to leave all. "Dad explained Again.

The words that I still remember to this day, although my father was gone, back to His Creator over 15 Years Ago. Words of wisdom is what become my Life guidelines to worship God for the life time.

My religious knowledge which I was acquire through un formal education learning. My father is the teacher whose guided me and always added the value of improvement my Islamic knowledge. I gain my knowledge by discussing several issues such as economic, politics and education etc.

I still remember the discussion of government economic development plan one day.

" Our government table the Five Years  Economic Development Plan to eradicate the poor”. I told father one night during my Hari Raya vocation.

“ Impossible to eradicate the poverty” my father response to me“  That statement is wrong, It is against the nature of universe”. He try to convinced me,

“ Allah The Creator create all thing in the universe are pairs, big verses small, rich verses poor, happy verses sad, life verses death etc. .” Dad try to confine his word.

‘’ Be law of nature, there will be a poor people from times to times, the poor definition is relatively flexible”

“ If the person whose stay in town, their household income RM 2,500.00 per month, is still under poor low income, but if he stay at rural area, RM2,500.00 is include under rich people, that the reality of life now days”. Father debate his point like an economist. I just node my head to agree what father said.

“ further more in the holy Quran, Allah stated that the poor is part of  the society that should be the responsible of rich to take care by giving income zakat”.

“ The correct word  should use be uses is To Reduce the number of poor people," said  father  confidently as his word been support by me.

“ Your are correct dad”. I try to support father talk.

The situation is normal in our family when there is an issue. it look like my father always lead the situation because he will put the proof of Quran verses, that I am gain my knowledge in religious principle and faith. Out of these discussions make me gain knowledge, especially about law and order of Islam.

Such a situation does become a routine discussion when I returned to the village during  University semester break. During the discussion I'm more focused on  academic school of tough by arguments Economic and social sciences, while my father thoughts more focused on religious law and order based on the Quran and Hadith.  The discussions and exchange views on such matters made me more matured and deeper in understanding faith, law and order of Islam from time to time. Thus the informer education that educate me to know batter about the faith and practiced of Islam in our life.

Such atmosphere has gone for the last 15 years ago, It just a memorable when father was passed away. I am very glad to my father whose always guided me on Islamic way of life to get the pleasure of Lord Allah. Thanks Allah. I used to follow father style in providing  training and learning to our  Children and grandchildren till now.

To ensure our children performance  pray five time a day, I will always remember them  when there is opportunity  to communicate with my sons and daughters.

 “Have you perform your prayer?" words come from my  wife as once our child pass over our bed room. Sometime  the opportunity to remind our kids  when they  comes to get some pocket money before they went to school.

"This is your pocket money boy, remember your 5 times prayer daily”. That the  regular expressions by me or wife when ever we dealing with kids. Thank God It’s  positive effect to our family.

However,  when all of them grown up, they began too busy with their own business. They  can made their decision to perform their prayer accordingly. Either in the house of at the mosque. I just follow up through SMS to refresh them.

As been taught by Hadis Rasulullah SAW, “ Be friends with your children when their age is 18 year and above..” it is advisable to be friend and it seem the most effective way to educate our child.

“ Dad wishes many-many thanks to all, your performance so far are good”  I talked as opening speech during our family meeting one day.

“ Thanks for been a good and obey to Islamic faith and law at all times. So far so good, That practice should permanently be continuous in our life if we put an intention to be good Muslim”. I elaborate more regarding our objective and goal in the life to get pleasure and pleasant by Allah, that we will be reward with haven Jannah in the hereafter.

“ Now dad open the discussion to all, you can put a comment to dad and mom. Regarding our responsibility as parents”. I open our meeting to all the members.

 “ I am personally and represent all my brothers, sisters and all our kid, to wishes thousand thanks to Dad and Mom, that both of you take care for us”. Along, my eldest daughter spoke as representative of all.

“Thank you " I reply.

“ Dad and mom wishes many-many thanks to all of your that able to be a good person whose obey the law and order of Lord Allah in everyday life”.

“ Thanks God whose bless our doa”.’ “ Both of us are very happy with all of your performance last year”.

Thank God, the God Who gives guidance to me  be consistent to obey God's commandments, which was adopted by my wife and children.

As we were marriage till now day, I never and ever hit my wife, and also we never facing the serious crisis, our great loyal lover evergreen and lasting for more 35 years. Allahamdulillah  with God pleasure we manage to entertain our sincerity  and loyalty love. Our loving relationship   of husband and wife is always smoldering and happiness is always fresh. The most important factor that to sustain our loyal lover due to intention been put by me as husband to take fully responsibility to please Allah both in this world and hereafter. Maybe God has guided us to avoid any serious differences Intent to our family and we most always eager to obey the Commandments of God.

As so when I heard the situation where husband abuse cruelly to his wife, I cannot imagine what kind of man

That can be as such rude and brutally hit the wife when there is a differences of ideas and tough. Event tough the wife is husband partner to release his tension and sharing the distress. The person who entertain his sex need and emotionally places of stress release.

It is un fair for a small problem, the husband  hammered  his wife in such a way.  Such action is extremely again the  teach by Rasulullah SAW. The Prophet is the husband of the very gentle with  all Wife. If the husband hit his wife for what ever reason, Islam was set the prescribed procedure. Thus who  brutally hit his wife is due to the lack of religious knowledge and the person that did not obey the law and order of Islam.

In addition to prayer, reading the Koran every day has become a routine for me and my wife, our kid frequently read when they feel free. This practices is one of the way to regain the peaceful mind and soul. The impact of recite the Quran it will be a factor of healing process for most of the pain we suffer and also will made the reciter emotionally feel fresh and calm. Quran reciter which focus to the Quran reading procedure will be part of process to exercise the brain and our soul focus and the process is to be a good for brain development, some time it been call as the brain tonic. Beside the Quran also to a good healing for most of the pain in human body.

To help my wife be influent reading the Quran, I bought the new electronic technology called “ Quran Pen reader” it is very simple to use just pointing the pen needle to the page of Quran, It is automatically recite the Quran by the world best reciter of Masjid Al Haram Mecca. By using this technology it is easy  for us to furbish and made correction of our reading style.

Thank God that He has granted Intention four our family to be consistently recite of Quran in our daily life.

 Now I am  able to read fluently. I am also hire a ladies Quran Reading Teacher to come to my house to teach my wife and all the children. The Quran Reading classes. That bee schedule for 3 days in a week. The class begin after night prayer. The habit of reading Quran daily will be a good source to release our tension, some time ago I was read an articles regarding the healing or Quran, it is true, my wife after she practices reading Quran as a consistent her daily activity it seen the healing process of her pain be a proven the she was better than before. Her mind set and way of thinking to the hope of her future world is more positive as compare as before, at the early stage of stroke she is more inferior  and  depress.

As a  husband it is a must to gain the skills of family management and caring,  beside that the husband also need to  manage the family financial and economics. We also need careful plan according priority needs by the family and used the money accordingly to the needs and priority.  If we do not proper plan, possibly  monthly income cannot coupe  the monthly spent. Thus will be a problem of cash flow and the end of the month we have to borrow form other people. Thus the situation will be trap be the Money Lender (Along) whose lend the money with high interest rate. The was is forbidden by Islam.

"O God as your  servant . I begged forgiveness and repent in differences All errors and omissions that violate the command thee. Thou art the Oft-Returning, Most Forgiving." Amin Ya Rabil Alamin

Tips:

1.      Basic knowledge of religion is essential to the husband  as head of the family, because it will be used to review educate wife and children on the wright path of  Allah law and order. To be a husband is actually your are committed to take responsible of your wife and family. Any failure the husband  will be questioned in the Hereafter.  So to be a best husband, we have to acquire more knowledge of Islamic faith, law dan order to ensure our family can be guided accordingly and inline with the Islamic tough that will bring our family a success In the current world and the day hereafter. Insya Allah.