Good Muslim Wife

 The following article should be read with the other one addressed to “Muslim Husband” as well as all other posts about Marriage.. This is to avoid exaggerating the role of one spouse over the other, nor to down grade the contribution of a spouse for the other.. Marriage is a sacred social formation; not only in Islam but in all religions and faiths.. Without the correct attention and participation, such a bond will not last, or will require a heavy price from both parties; and their kids as well.. In the failed marriage, all parties lose..

I had noticed the unjust attitudes of most husbands, which are simply deviation from the cores of Islam, and the righteous guidance of his Prophet PBUH.. We need to admit that we lack lots of the true essences and knowledge of Islam, due to translation, illiteracy and media confusion.. Then we shall collectively strive to understand more and carefully implement the correct behavior and habits..

Our unqualified Imams had already ruined many generations, and indirectly seeded extremism and domestic abuse, by ill-interpreted Quran verses and Hadith.. The famous quest of 4/34 on beating women is just scandalous example of moral fragmentation and disassembly.. The speed of social changes beats the capability of most preachers to accommodate reasonable and acceptable elaborations and understanding..

Marriage, in any religion; is practically build on love.. and the moral bravery to express love..

The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means “This life is a joy and its best joy is a good wife” [Muslim], also, “A women is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her fame, for her beauty and for her (adherence to) religion. So marry one for her religion and you will win” [Bukbari & Muslim] and, “Four are causes of happiness,: A good wife, a big house, a good neighbor and a good way of transportation” [Al-Hakim].

The above Hadiths emphasize the importance of marrying a good Muslim woman. This is why Muslim men should always seek such women to be happy in this life. Following are some of the characteristics of a good wife:

1. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their honor, husband’s property, etc). [4:34]. Ibn Katheer said, “Ibn Abbas said, ‘The righteous women are obedient to their husbands (Qanitaat). Also ibn Katheer said, “Imam Suddi said, ‘They (good wives) protect their husbands’ honor and money in their absence.”‘

2. Ibn Hibban narrated that the Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If a woman prayed the five prayers, fasted in Ramadhan, protected her honor and obeyed her husband; then she will be told (on the Day of Judgment): enter Paradise from any of its (eight) doors.

3. The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “Your women who will enter Paradise are those nice to their husbands, who bear children, and those who keep checking the needs of their husbands. If her husband gets angry with her, she would hold his hand and say : “By Allah, I will not sleep until you forgive me” [as-Silsilah as-Sahiha]

4. -an-Nasa’i narrated that the Prophet PBUH was asked, “Who are the best of women?” HE said, “The one who pleases him (her husband) if he looks at her, obeys him if he orders (her) and does not subject her honor or money to what he dislikes.”

From the above Hadiths, we can sum up the characteristics of a good wife:

1–She is a good Muslim, obedient to Allah and His Messenger PBUH .
2–She performs the five regular prayers and fasts Ramadhan.
3–She is obedient to her husband, unless he orders her to do evil.
4–She protects her husband’s money and honor in his absence.
5–She is always nice to her husband, checking on his needs.
6–She always tries to please and calm him if he is angry or upset.
7–She bears his children and does not ask him for divorce for no reason.
8–She tries to always look and smell nice for her spouse.

Advice for Women

Following is an advice to every Muslim woman that contains matters to avoid in order to have a good marriage.

1 — Avoid angering your husband. The Prophet PBUH mentioned that among the three that Allah does not accept their prayer are, “A wife who goes to sleep while her husband is angry with her.” [At-Tirmithi].

2 — Avoid harming your husband in any way, “If a woman harms (in any way) her husband, then his wife in Paradise tells her: ‘Do not harm him, may Allah fight you, he is only staying temporarily with you. Soon he will come to us.‘[Ahmad & At-Tirmithi].

3 — Avoid being unappreciative or unthankful to your husband, “Allah does not look to the woman who does not appreciate her husband while she cannot stand his departing her.” [An-Nasaii].

4 – Do not ask your husband for divorce for no reason. The Prophet PBUH warned women who ask for divorce for no sound reason in his Hadith, “Any woman who asks her husband for divorce for no reason will not smell the fragrance of Paradise. [Sahih Al-Jamii].

5 — Do not obey your husband if he asks you to do prohibited matters, “Do not disobey the Creator to obey any human.”[Ahmad & Al-Hakim].

6 — Avoid voluntary fasting without your husband’s permission, unless he is absent, “A woman does (must) not fast while her husband is present without his permission, except in Ramadhan.” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]. This Hadith emphasizes the importance of the wife satisfying her husbands sexual needs. If the husband agrees, then the wife can do volunteer fasting, satisfied that she fulfilled her obligation towards ber husband.

7 — It is a major sin to deny your husband sexual pleasure. The Prophet PBUH said, what translated means, “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses till he slept while angry, then the Angles will curse her till the morning.” [Muslim]. Muslim men have no other means to satisfy them but through Their wives. Therefore, the very essence of marriage will be destroyed if men are denied this right by their wives.

8 – It is a major sin for husbands and wives to tell others what they do in bed. The Prophet described the ones who do that as, “A devil who meets a fe ale devil and has intercourse with her in public” [Ahmad].

9 — The Prophet PBUH ordered every Muslim woman not to let anyone into their houses, “Unless he (her husband) gives her permission.” [Al-Bukhari].

10 — Muslim women do not have the habit of going in and out of their houses without necessity. Allah SWT said, what translated means, “And stay in your houses” [33:33].

By: kashmirigirl