1.
UN PREDITED FUTURE HAPPINIESS
All men want a perfect life. But
all men have to know, in this world nothing is perfect except in heaven. Among
the many things that want to be perfect, there is one that all human endeavor,
for close to perfect, which is love.
That's where myself and wife
story begins. At a time when everything seems to be almost perfect, that is
when the Lord Allah brings His test. Tests were at first made me think, where's
my fault? What is my sin that I do this?
But in the end I got it, God
tests His fall was to make love to my wife, close to perfect. Perfect love that
does not place conditions. Love does not have to be pretty, do not have a voice
sweet, smiling graciously need not, and should not hug me too, I will still
respond with love.
This is how my story begins.
On August 21, 1980, I heard those
words and forceful this with gratitude and joy.
"Sah!"
"Sah!"
Thank God, finally I became a
husband to a most beautiful woman in my eyes. Women who have been stealing my hearts
for so long, and on that day, legally she is my wife. Life was held at the
beginning of sweets and happy.
" Bang, I love you " the expression of my wife
on the first night.
"Who does not love."
"Yes, Darling?"
"I swear, Darling."
We both smiled happily. And for
almost 20 years God lent my wife and I, who named sweet things. We live
together undergo the '80s and' 90s with the ups and downs. We are fed by God,
beginning on 1 September appointed as an Administrative Officer’s, with a little treasure that we collect, and
then the sustenance bestowed by Allah with invaluable - children. Children are
a testament to our love and bonding. So much so that we had to raise both hands
to count the number, and that is seven. Four sons and three daughters. Our
family life, thank God blessed with happiness and joy as it is.
Until the date of March 2, 2001,
my wife had to be hospitalized for neurosurgery. Something I did not expect.
Something I did not know, and never even know it exists because of her illness
since we consolidated she never ill, except occasional colds. The most frequent
abdominal pain in front stomach boom due to contains children almost once a
year at first and in the alternate three years after the third birth and so on
until the seventh birth..
" Your wife Mr. Nik affected
by the neuro complication, associated
with the genetic potential out of 200 thousand to 500 thousand people who
suffer from this disease. The medical
term is known as "Artery -venous
malformation" (AVM). "
At a time when the doctor told me
the problem, I still do not feel anything. In case of cancer or heart disease,
still I can imagine the danger, but not the disease. A mystery to me, strange
diseases related to brain neurons. When she attacks the healthy human can coma
immediately. Thus shown that, we as human still lack of knowledge if compare to
the His mighty God Power whose manage the universe.
Then when my wife was taken to
the operating room, I could only say, " Oh my Lord Allah, I just prey and
seek for your help to safe my lovely wife " That expression of words that
can be uttered upon seeing my wife in a
coma situation brought by a nurse to operation theater.
When my wife had disappeared from
my sight, when operating theater doors closed, my mind recalls daydreaming about my beloved wife
who was so faithful to myself. Well
proven her sincerity of love and affection for her husband and family when I was hospitalized in 1983, due
to my right knee pain.
“ My Love let me do everything, it
is my responsibility to take care of your until your fully recovered
later" My lovely wife told me nearly 30 years before, during that time I
just discharge from hospital after been
hospitalize about 6 months. with
a Plaster of Paris (POP) for one year,
which is proof of her love. It's all a memory that never goes out in my mind
ever since 1983 before until now and forever.
And now my love loyalty to wife
is tested, would God have ordained all of this as a countervailing test our love toward us. Allah only know the perfect
answer.
I still remembered how my wife
proven her is a good and honest to husband.
She keeps her husband whole heartedly
without any grumbling and groaning. She able to do everything, washing feces,
urine cleaning, bathing and other sundries.
Thanks to God that gave me a mate with a woman who is honest and
kind-hearted. That evidence innocence
love my wife.
" Sir " I snapped out
of daydreaming, when I hear the voice of a
nurse. " Your wife is going for operation within 3 to 4 hours, sir
can wait in the lobby there. When everything finished I'll call ". She
said with a smile. I just looked at the nurse with empty heart.
In the waiting room sofa, my mind
was still flying around daydreaming about the future of our family. The future
is uncertain, whether hot or drizzle or single storm, I cannot make predictions,
because there are no tools to measure as usual done for Weather Forecast
through Radar system. Because it involving a soul, living or dead is He who
determines the Almighty and Omnipotent. God Is The Greatest!
My wife is undergoing surgery
today is not sure what will be the end, Is she be OK or the kinds of situations
that are unclear, and missed. "O Allah, You may be able to save my wife
keeps us together", "God willing," replied my mind alone.
While waiting for my wife out of
the operation theater, my thoughts still haunt the times themselves are
gripped, and how to take care of my lovingly and loyalty wife.
" Abang, your has more than
eight months recuperating at home," my wife told me one afternoon.
"When the time you can
properly walk" asked my wife who was still lying in a reclining chair.
"I do not know honey, it's up to the will
of God. Abang just accept it. "
The situation was still visible
in my mind, I still remember everything, how my wife facing the trials when my right
knee seriously hurt in the 80s before. She remained loyal despite myself
already categorized as a disabled husband. Where it does not, right foot only
be move about 25%, resulting of the pain, I having to walk like a person
wearing a prosthetic leg. From this time I began to see myself as a disabled
person, when performing Solat ( prayer)
while sitting between two prostrations and ‘tahayyat’ beginning and end, my right leg had to be brought straight in front,
that again the normal way.
"Unfortunately I can accept as they are, That the destiny
gifted by Lord Allah.” I told to my wife one afternoon after being discharged
from the hospital some time ago.
"Unfortunately you not regret marrying me " I used to say to my wife after my right knee
pain does not heal completely, my right leg was not function normally, have a
disability.
"What was sorry, because during
the first married Abang was handsome, as Ametha Baachan
a Hindi movie star, hee..he ,,,,,"
jokes my wife,
"Well, really that" I
question back to ensure my wife sincerity.
"If abang
do not believe, it's OK," wife
looks a bit sad in her face.
That is an old story in early of 80s. Sweet love destined us only lasted three
years, then everything magnificently.
Husband and wife very romantic.
Happy always lived with our family.
Everything has been so memorable in
the history of our marriage.
That's all I can face with full
conviction and persevere because God had destined, perhaps in retaliation for
the sins of my past faulty or to test my faith and devotion to Him. Time passed
quickly, and I had to accept the fact that my wright leg pain as a destiny that God has given to me and my family. Nevertheless our loyalty
and happiness intact as before.
Now I still love to my wife in
God's test. What is happening now as a test of our love and loyalty. Is it
really true faithful as we talked during the first time my wife and I met before. Is able to
withstand the pain wife might be paralyzed and unable to speak after this
operation.
” Your wife may be paralyzed one
side of the body. She also may be cannot talk due to shortening of her tongue”
Neuron Surgeon told me when he
try to explained to me before I was asked to sing the acceptance latter for
operation.
I just hear the doctor words. What
can be done in a panic situation, life or death which is not certain and still
to find the best way to resolve. What is the most important for me is how my wife's
life can be saved. May she continue to breeze the fresh air, and she still can
be my partner to release stress of the day, or she can be the venue for my sons
and daughters to tell their stories. Nevertheless she is the persons to make my
grandchildren laughing. Only to Allah that I submit all hopes and everything.
We can do nothing.
Clock in the waiting room shown
10:30 am. I still eagerly awaiting the results of my wife surgery, have not
shown any further news from the theater. Wait and still waiting.
In the meantime, I still cannot
accept the fact that my beloved wife who
was a top aide to me in rowing our family life,
has now taken the pleasure by the Almighty. She was in a coma, and need
immediate surgery to save her life.
After the operation is not yet sure what her health situation in future.
Whether recoverable or not, can continue to breathe or stopped? It is also
uncertain, myself just surrender all possibilities to Allah SWT. Lord Almighty.
I still matter, a lot of questions
in my mind, Is it the way Lord Allah to wash my sins, or it is the way to compensate
with my sins and wrong doing before during the younger age, or the God’s
test this with various allegations from period to
contemporary. Could this be a way to test the level of my faith and devotion.
Those issues I cannot find the answer with certainty. Wallahu’alam, whatever
cause just surrender to Him. Allah who are Rahman.
The events that took place over
the wife, has major teaching and awareness of myself and also to our family members. Where there is a sudden, a
healthy wife was pulled favor immediately. Continue coma in the hospital during
treatment of headache pain which I consider as normal pain, the doctor said so.
" Do not worry Nik, Your
wife just has a headache, She will be O.K. after the treatment given "the
doctor said to me when I sent my wife to the clinic for treatment. That is our
prediction when we faces with uncertainty facts that beyond our knowledge and
skill.
But the fact that the future
events of every man is not completely sure, we can only make predictions. That
determine everything is God. Well proven again that we humans are not actually
what's up, what power and strength. Everything is a gift and a loan from the
Almighty Allah. Allah The Great! We are not what's up, what, everything that
God has.
I still think the situation began
on March 2, 2001. Upon completion of the evening prayer (solat maghrib),
suddenly heard a roar voice of pain in the bed room.
"Adooooh, this head pain bang,
bang please, help me, to much pain Bang, please"
"Wait a
minute, when I finished my prayer, we go
to the clinic” I try to calm her.
Once finished praying, Myself and
son accord my wife to the clinic.
"What wrong with you madam?"
Asked the doctor who examined my wife.
"My headache very acute
pain, doctor”
“ MY Right hand and feet numbness , unable to move
properly” my wife explained to doctor.
"Madam, your blood pressure
is normal, possibly migraine" Doctor
try to calm down my wife.
“Insya Allah, after medication
the pain should be release"
" To be fast, better to get
injection”. Doctor asked my wife
"Ok" while nodding her
head in agreement.
Doctors prescribe injection and
oral medication to heal the pain. That night my wife is under control, the pain
was slightly release.
At noon the next day, "My
dear, why the hand and right foot feel numbness, and got
stronger, "the voice of my wife in the bedroom.
"Maybe effect following
injection last night."
"Be patient. You drugs already taken. Later pain disappeared
slowly ". I tried to convince my wife who was still in pain on the bed.
After nearly dusk. Suddenly I heard.
"weeak, weeak," vomiting sound come from the bathroom.
I was on the mat after late
evening prayer, rushed to the bathroom to see what had happen.
"Why darling” when I push
the bathroom.
“Eweek, Eweeek.” My vomiting, but
could not see anything come out from her mouth, only drop of saliva.Myself open
tap water to clean all the residue on the floor, it fishy smelly.
"Abang, please, please, why I am vomiting incessantly.
The right leg felt like numbness. " my wife back my help, she look so
weak.
I tried to help my wife, it seems
quite difficult to stand up, I am
accord her to lay on bed.
"Ok, let’s we go to see the
doctor," I told to my wife, she flattered on the bed.
Once again we come to the same
clinic. When it come to my wife turn. We
went to treatment room, Doctor checking y wife blood pressure and found it is normal.
“ Your blood pressure is normal”
doctor told my wife.
“ better to be warded for further
treatment by specialist doctor, it seem abnormal pain, may be some blood clothing”
doctor explain to us.
“ Nik, your bring this latter to
the specialist doctor “ doctor gave the latter to me,
About 5 minute later, we reached
at the University Hospital, at Kubang Kerian.
The distance just 3 km from our house.
"Sir, you wife is ready,
everything goes well” I heard voice of
nurse, it’s awakened me from daydream.
and found my wife lying on the
bed, which was accord by two nurses to
the hospital ward. She still unconscious.
" Sir come with us," nurse asked me. I just
followed her instruction.
" She will be warded into
the ICU ward for the time being. After she was recover will be transferred to a
normal ward "explained nurse to me when we walked into the ICU ward.
In the ICU, My wife was placed on
a bed near a Staff nurse on duty. Maybe to facilitate supervision.
I just watched from a distance of
the lobby, as in the ICU ward family
members of patients, is only allowed during visiting hours to visit patients
with limited time and strict procedures. Everything for the comfort of patients
and ensure patients get the best treatment.
"Sir do not worry, we'll
take care of your wife." That nurse's words to me after he saw me quite
nervous and uneasy while waiting in the lobby ICU ward.
I am cool
and patience to wait until my wife recovery after surgery.
The mind is still thinking about
the greatness of Allah the Merciful, the Compassionate. I actually do not think
that my wife was in a coma in hospital while in Kota Bharu, and according to
the doctor only a matter of time to return to His creator, unfortunately my
wife until now still alive and saved. She still able to breathe and recover
back after undergo the brain surgery to removes the blood bleeding before.
" You do not worry, this is
normal for us, every month I did over 20 surgeries," said the specialist
to convince me when he asked me to sign
a consent latter for surgery.
I was overwhelmed how VVIP in Kota
Bharu who came to visit my wife in hospital on the evening of March 2, 2001,
had instructed the doctor to bring my wife to Ampang Specialist Hospital,
Selangor.. It was all not in anticipation. Is this rule of God, everything can
happen unexpectedly by human mind.
Everything possible happening when our
Lord Allah keen to do that, as what
the religious teacher told when he gave
Maghrib lecture which I have ever attended in the past.
"If we like helping people
in trouble, later when we are in trouble , there is a way coming with the
help of Allah all the way which is out
of our normal tough. that's the
advantage of those who had the generosity and love to help people. " I'm
not sure if I was a man of philanthropy, the only thing I did is, if anyone ask
for help, I will do my best to help as what ever effort which I could. That's
it all.
Clock at the lobby hospital shows
at 3.20pm. I feel quite energized again
after a bath and change clothes away in use since yesterday, more refreshing
when I can sleep a while after noon prayers at the mosque hospital this
afternoon.
"Mr. Please login to wards
"sound is heard at the door of the ward nurse ICU.
I
rushed to the door of the ICU ward, and follow the nurse came into the
ward and brought over to the bed, my wife was bedridden and unconscious.
I noticed a woman who was still
lying in bed, her head is wrapped in a thick bandage, and her fingers still
clutched to her chest and heart monitoring device filled with a trip wire which
monitors the heart and blood pressure, computer monitoring system showed my
wife's body is normal. "Fortunately," whispered the mind..
As I stared at my wife. suddenly.
" Abang, hungry" is
heard whispers gently from the mouth of my wife who had begun to recover.
"Alhamdulillah," Out of
my mouth of spontaneous, while my hands
clutching my wife's hand. "Thank God. I love you "spontaneously out
of my mouth.
How grateful myself to Allah. Because granted the worship. My wife who underwent surgery were aware and able to speak again. The situation has reversed my conviction
that were previously in a thousand questions and uncertainties because doctors
predicted my wife will unable to speak
after surgery . She possible lost her memories, This incident gave a deep
awareness of myself who is lack of religious knowledge. Thus proven that the power of God will overhaul everything in this world. Allah can negate all
human response under the laws of a state of mind that it will happen by nature.
But the knowledge of God can super
proceed the natural sciences. An unusual nature wills
happen when God desire. "Kun Fayakuun." This is one of God Power that happen to my wife. Subhanallah.
Events experienced faced by me
that Allah had saved my wife life is another prudent the super Power OF Allah
to His mankind. Thus is we rely and
trust in Allah after making every effort
within our means. God willing, there will be a solution to be determined by Him.
The conclusion of the story that
I had presented here show that God determines everything to His servants. We as
humans can only plan for success in the future, but God is able to change all
our plans and possible results are far different from what we expect. Yet it's
there his wisdom, to examine to what extent we believe and fear Allah. Every
calamity that befalls us is whether his audience to seek blessings be resolved
all the difficulties as quickly as possible. For those with a high level of
faith and devotion will be pleased with any provision of God, because they
believe in the promise of God that any hardships with patience will be replaced
by joy and excitement when the time comes. We as humans just try and pray
alone. God has promised that there will be a cure for every disease, every
problem there is a solution. Always put your hope to Allah.
Now, my beloved wife had pulled a
health boon, her beauty and perfection by Him. All the perfection attained so
far been missing. Now she is as a person with disabilities (PWDs) have to lead
a life full of challenges and tests. I as a husband must take full
responsibility for taking care of sick wife who was
paralyzed one side of arm and leg.
One day,
When I stared to my wife diary.
"Who wrote this,
beautiful" a word come out my
mouth.
"Are you kidding" while
a sardonic smile of my wife. Maybe he
noticed that I was trying to take his writing with his left hand because it is
not so clear.
"Good for you, if I do it
with my left hand, may be worst" I tried to give confidence to my wife in the efforts and dedication of who
diligently learn to write with her left hand. Indeed, it is most dedicated that
lead to write by left hand. that allow her life to return to normal after she was
paralyzed. After nearly 15 years experiencing writing by left hand she mastered
and most likely standard with hand writing of kindergarten children.
That is the beauty that God
bestowed upon my wife. He remained patience and dedication in the face of
disability given by God. Has now passed through the 15 years period, his daily
life has been adjusted.
I also do not think that we are
husband and wife can go through all of this in stride and continue to love our
faithful to this day. When checked the integrity of our love in the toil and
hardships of life after pain and sorrow to take care of paralyzed wife for 15 years, my wife and I still happy and we
proud of our sincerity love that is evergreen for the period of 35 years till
today. Thus happen through my adoption
of a number of things that could
fostering harmony and love between husband and wife both of us. When I do cross checked with the theory put forward by researchers in
social sciences. I found much in common
with what we practiced in the surf boat our marriage.
When the continuity of peace and
love is remembered we can expect to last for 35 years after marriage. We feel
an urgent need to be disclosed to the public as a Tips, especially for couples who are having
trouble in continuing viability of their love and also the situation of households
that had cracked and wait to split., I hope we've been through that experience
can serve as a guide and learn.
More than that it is again when examined
issues of couples who divorce each year is increasing. Up to 2010 statistics
JAKIM had more than 28,000 of divorces
during the year. It represents almost 30% of all marriages in the same year. It
also said that the couple were divorced it is from among them a newly marriage in
the range three to six years of their marriage. Majority (80%) is made up of
a marriage which has the consent of the family.
Beside that, my patient and
ability to continuous take care my stroke wife for the period of 15 years, is a
valuable knowledge should be share with others who are recently become a
caregiver to his couple due to stroke attack. Those people are still searching
and try to find an effective method or system how to take care of stroke
survivor. By reading my book possibility to get some info to deal with the
stroke survivor and can be an aid to ease their burden of caring the patient.
Recognizing thus, I feel that my
experience hardship in building our successful marriage with full of challenges
and obstacles that need to be shared
with the public. .Insya Allah.
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