Always be comfort with wife

18.  Always be comfort with wife

From Abu Hurairah, the Prophet said: "The most perfect believer in faith and morals are the best. The best of you is the best behavior towards his wife."

(Narrated by Tirmidhi, Abu Daud, (Hassan Saheeh)

Care needs, wants and sensitive to emotions and situations wife. The wife of a wealthy family happy.

Among its features is a healing hearts husband and wife:

§  Always be sweet and romantic  break away with his wife. The meeting began with early morning prayers of the day and back for  blessing to ourselves  and all members of the household.

§  Show radiantly every time they met since radiantly bring happiness dang eliminate prejudice.

§  The mouth of the well. When talking with  wife use a good and interesting words that can fascinate wife.

§  Calling my wife to call as she pleasant and like,

§  Call with indulgent   dan romantic.

§  Peaceable  mind and humor. Islam permits use humor to create and strengthen the bond of love and affection of husband and wife.

§  Avoid  being overly aggressive husband with wife and family.

§  husband should pray for his wife.

§  husband is encouraged to bring his wife along on journeys because a lot of benefits.

§  Always friendly even at the dinner table.

Practice is concerned about the needs and desire of wife is one of the causes of our domestic happiness, I was always concerned about the emotional of my wife to ensure that my  wife always had the feeling cheerful and happy to be beside myself as a responsible husband.

I always put myself to concern the happiness of my wife because she is “queen” to all my  7 children. She  sacrifice her life just to birth my 7 children. Her sacrifices are to huge and cannot be paid by money and it is valueless. Her sacrifice so valuable as my aim to have a good family that can help the cause of Islam brought by the Prophet  Rasulullah SAW. We wish our family was given guidance by God to enter paradise in the hereafter. God willing.

As my wife is a handicap person that her Daily Living Need (DLN) must be provided by caregivers. So my responsibility is to be more close to her, so she be able to make her emotionally happier every time and forever. Especially when my wife is pregnant.  At the earlier of our marriage my wife has desire to eat a fruit what we call in Malay “Salak” . This special fruit can only get at the country side, my wife who  was pregnant for the first-born (1981) is the requirement that I have to provide for.

"Darling, Your baby want to eat “salak” fruit. My wife told me one evening.

"OK honey, I will to find it” I try to convince her.

"The fruit is very sweet and delicious," Wife try to imagine her experience before.

"Please darling, try to get it" trance wife as she put her head on my thigh.

"Now is not the season of salak fruits, but I will try to find at  the market tomorrow afternoon" my hand rubbing softly her head, who was  spoiled.

That the way I take positive action to fulfil my wife desire. This one of the way how I used my soft skill of coaching and influence people when I did my first degree last time.  The various aspect of soft skill is very important for a husband to gain knowledge if he has put intention to be a best husband and leader. Thank  Allah whose give me a patience attitude that can control my thinking to be a person of very creative , By that I manage to used various method of solving my problem.

The next day moring, I rush to my office and made a telephone call to my friend whose work at Gua Musang District Office.

“ Hello Nik, now is off season, I am not sure either you can get the salak here’ Mat Jusoh give replied to my call.

“ Any how, your have to try to find at the country side”. “ Ok , thank you very much Mat for your help”. I finished my telephone conversation with Mat Jusoh, whose use to be my best friend at Gua Musang.

That evening I went home sharp by 5 pm, rushing drove my car to fruit stand.

"Mak  Su, is there any Salak fruit" I asked  fruit seller at fruit stand on the way back to my house.

"No, Nik, the salak is of season now" she replied to me.

“ where to get it, my pregnant wife eagle to eat salak”.

"Ni now in the off-season, there was no salak fruit, may be three more months more " Mak Su give a response.

" Thank you". I left the fruit stand.

As soon as I got home that evening.

"Assala mualaikum".

"Waalaikumussalam" voice of my wife in  the house.

"Eh, my darling come  back. Any salak "

" no"

"No," my wife looked grim.

"Be patient, honey, I'll try to ask my friend  at Gua Musang tomorrow morning."       

The next day I have to take leave for two days just to go to Gua Musang to find salak fruit. The journey takes almost one day by train

The only mean of communication to Gua Muasang.

At certain times, I sometimes had to persuade my wife to sulk deck because I mistakenly say in a tone that sounds a little rough and somewhat loud for certain issue. According to common practice done by me when my wife was crying and sulking after a misunderstanding, I would hug my wife for a while (a few minutes) while reciting the word "sorry honey" repeatedly with a child's voice, until her wife stopped crying, and followed by a   'body language “  that she give a signaled forgive to me. Normally, my wife would hug to me and thus accompanied by a kiss spoiled.   With these typically occur on the bed, as had been the practice of my wife when she was angry, she would lock lonely in the room and sleeping under a blanket on the bed.

At certain times, there are also cases where misunderstanding between us quite peaked, I'll take some time to stabilize the emotions of my wife. When the situation calmed down and in control, I will express again noticed my guilt to  my  wife, and she will signal that she had forgive me.

Practice cares about emotions and feelings wife is a "golden key" as a strategy to maintain the integrity of  husbands love and happiness in our home. In this case the husband should have the knowledge  how to emotionally captivate his wife, and also need to have a high patience,   as the words of Rasulullah SAW which means,  if you want to establish women should be wise and gentle manner, because women as a bent rib, if corrected with strong or hard it will be broken.

Tips:

1. A husband must have knowledge and expertise in handling domestic crisis.

2.      The husband should serve as a   driving force to defuse the crisis in the household, as has become commonplace nature, women are easily offended and sulk, so the husband as the leader in their families need to know how to control your emotions and wife who are seething with anger. Husband whose has a soft skill to coaching and influence his wife will be the most likely husband by all ladies.

3.      If the husband and wife know how to win, and easy to apologize to his wife for any mistake,  will easily soften the heart of his wife because women themselves did easy to forgive when solicited by men mostly  their husbands.

4.      If the husband has the expertise to handle the emotional or depressed wife, will give a very positive effect, where affectionate relationship will be nurtured in the family at all times, in case of disagreement quickly in harmonizing again by a husband and wife. This situation will affect the long term to emotional wife who was the mother of their two children, a study by researchers in  human life, the mother who is always full of life with happiness and love will educate  their children in a more perfect and can positive impact on the growing process an  education of their children. Usually, children who grow up in this environment will be more confident in taking their lives. They will be people who are successful in their careers. God willing.