Family Meeting to address family issue

14. Family Meeting to address family issue

"Dad and Mom would like to thank Along,  Abang  idan, Esyah, Ewan, Ahmad, Paie and Adik Bihah" I started to talk in a family meeting at one occasion.

" Alhamdulillah, Dad thankful to God, because all of you shown and practices the Muslim faith and obey the law and order of Lord Allah although some issue need to be improve" my praise to all my children.

" Any how , our solat (prayer) 5 times per day need to be improve by performing at the earlier time   and make  sure  we don’t miss a single prayer”. My further notification.

All my child just nodded their head as sign of their understanding to the order given.

Thus a situation of our family meeting that occasionally done twice or three times per year. The meeting is healed during me or my wife Birthday Celebration. Or during Hari Raya family dinner.

"Dad give a chance to everyone to criticize my leadership style or to give feedback on the coaching style”  I give a chance  to my children to put their word on my performance.

"Along  thank you so much to dad and mom, Your excellent caring of us and always guided us the wright path". Along start talking. The other siblings only nod to the agreement.

“I am also wishes thousand  thanks to both of you Mom and Dad” Abng Idan voice out.

“ Any how I hope our dad to be more patience when dealing with certain issues, don’t rush to blame us”.

The other siblings only usually very quiet, unless there is something important to say,

Such discussion and two way communication is normal at our family meeting.

Through this family meeting I can assess my performance as the leader to the family , From time to timer I have to readjust my leadership style accordingly to the growing of my children. Now some of them have their own family, so I have to ensure my style to be preferable by all the family.

The benefit of such family meeting, I discover a lot of family issues can be settled down with peace and  acceptance by all the family. So the meeting is one of the effective way to strengthen relationship between family members.

The practice of family meetings I've also  innovated though not as often. I usually hold a family meeting when there are important issues that need to view and opinions of all family members. The goal is to find the best solution.   Normally my meeting held on the anniversary of the birthday of either me or the wife.

What is being done at a dinner with all the family I would like to thank our families for their assistance in creating a family harmony, mutual assistance to each other. Next I will provide an opportunity for family members to make a strike against my achievements in leading the family in the past year. The usual comment made ​​by sincere attitude declared less favored   by children by giving its reasons once. I will take all strikes children as a feedback to constantly improve  to become  better patent  and also  meet the practice of  sunnah Prophet SAW.

This much done after the situation of our children have reached the age of adolescence and adulthood. Along is now 33 years old with four children, brother Idan reach the age of 32 years is still bachelor, Kak Esyah third child 29 years old with two children, brother Ewan has reached the age of 27 years still single, and Abang Mat fifth child has reaching the age of 24 years also a bachelor  and  brother Rafie  sixth child being just finished diploma courses aged 22 years and younger daughter Su Bihah aged 20 years old still study at collage for diploma course.

Having practiced family meeting, many issues that arise can be resolve apparently as  good as possible, these actions can also foster closer cooperation among families. A pleasure that can be felt by us, having practiced family meeting I felt more calm and bsatisfaction.   As head of the family  feedback provided by all children can become "KPI" for me to evaluate performance and make improvements to the criticism presented. Thus the way how I improve my leadership as a parent. 

When my wife was attacked by stroke, the family meeting become more regular. In the meeting we discussed about the caregiver to help wife daily requirement such as bathing, clothing, napkin ware and food preparation –for breakfast, lunch, evening tea and dinner.

“ who want to take care for mom”. I asked to all my children in one of the meeting.

“ Adik will take care for bathing and clothing”. Youngest daughter put her proposal to their sibling.

“ I am helping for dinner only, because at the day time I am committed with my office jobs” Along told to her brothers and sisters

“ I  can occasionally helping during week end only due to my duty most of the day at outstation”. Told Ahmad.

“ Thanks to all, It look everybody have commitment to help your paralyze mom. It is our duty to help your mom as she now become handicap person, If you helping her with hearts sincerely. Allah will give back a reward to heaven at hereafter. A palace made of gold and silver. You will stay there forever”. I told the reward that promise by Allah to all His humble who to be a kind person.

The meeting is used to disperse the duty among my children to help their stroke mother. By this meeting most of the issues can be resolved positively and accepted by all the family members.

The practice of holding meetings to resolve issues arising in the family is one of the Sunnah of the Prophet practiced by Rasulullah SAW.

"And consult them in affairs (war and things of the world) it. Then when you have decided (after the decision, a) put thy trust in Allah ['Ali Imran 3: 159].

From Ibn Abbas said, when this verse:

Meaning : “always meets with them in matters important” Thus, the Prophet SAW has said: Allah and His Messenger did not forget  meeting, but God has made a mercy for my people, whoever among my people who meet He is always in the right way and those who did not meet among my people, he will always be in trouble. Narrated by imams Sufism. munthakab hadith, page 753, chapter adab2 and practices.

From Abu Huraira said, I never saw a man who was very much meets with his friends more than the Prophet Muhammad SAW  (his many meetings). Narrated by Tirmizi (Selective Hadith m / s 752 about Custom and Practices)

The importance of the meeting in  order to decide the grace of God, by the practice of meeting with the family is a way for us to obtain guidance and leading Web ark of God in our household. Any rules set for the practice in the family will get full support by family members because he made ​​a decision based on the majority vote in the Meeting of Families. So there is no reason for any member of their families to dispute enforcement.  The consensus result  in the family it would be uniting the family relationship.  In addition to reaping the reward in the hereafter because meeting was practice is sunnah of the Prophet SAW.

Tips:

1.      Meeting the family can evaluate you effectiveness as head of the family. During this meeting parents will alert their families the opportunity to children to express their feelings towards their parents. And said  mixing means which are preferred by children and ways of interaction which I liked. Information is very important for parents to make correction way they communicate with their children.

2.      To increase the feeling of belonging in the family. The opportunity given by the parents when their  children  recommended better ways and can be adapted to their needs in managing the household. If this situation occurs in the family meeting will give a boost to children that their parents are "sporting" as an opportunity to give their ideas.

3.      Can the guidance of God's blessings upon each issue resolved by meeting and joint decisions. After obtaining informed consent, we all will work together to resolve any issue arise. We help each other and help find ways to troubleshoot the best. A mutual satisfaction felt when a problem can be resolved amicably.

4.      Practice is the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad SAW met. So if we practice in our daily life certainly will be rewarded by Lord Allah at hereafter due to following the sunnah.

5.      If we meet to get a decision to solve a problem faced in the  families. It was a good decision because we have gained through a brainstorming meeting with the participation of family members. When implementing such measures they will give full support  and will be enforce  smoothly.  Ahamdulillah (God willing).